A Soldier’s Heart Finding God in the Trenches

At 19, I was prideful, depressed, and completely lost.
Not just lost in the world—but lost in my soul. I didn’t know who I was, and I certainly didn’t know who I was meant to become. I was in a relationship that felt wrong in my spirit, clinging to it out of fear and confusion. I was chasing things that didn’t fulfill me, trying to fill a void that only God could reach.

But even then—when I didn’t see it, didn’t feel it—God was working in me.

The Breaking That Became a Blessing

I joined the Army thinking it would give me direction. And it did—but not in the way I expected. The Army broke me down. It stripped away my ego, my pride, my false sense of control. And in that breaking, God began to rebuild me—not into a woman of the world, but into a woman of faith.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but every hardship, every moment of doubt, every tear I cried in silence was part of His plan. He was humbling me, softening my heart, and preparing me for something greater than I could imagine.

Letting Go to Let God In

I had to let go of the version of myself I had built on shaky ground. The one who thought she had to be strong all the time. The one who thought she could do it all on her own. I had to surrender. And in that surrender, I found peace.

Jesus met me in my brokenness. He didn’t wait for me to have it all together. He came to me in the mess, in the confusion, in the pain—and He began to heal me from the inside out.

Becoming a Woman of God

Today, I’m not perfect. I still stumble. But I walk with purpose now. I walk with faith. I know who I am—not because the world tells me, but because God tells me. I am His. I am chosen. I am being shaped daily into a woman of grace, humility, and strength—not by my own power, but by His.

If you’re in a season of breaking, don’t lose hope. Sometimes God has to break us to rebuild us. Sometimes He has to strip away the noise so we can finally hear His voice.

You are not lost. You are being led.