What is the meaning of submission?

As I reflect on my past, I see now that many of the things I pursued, studied, and embraced as a woman weren’t always in my best interest. I lived with pride, convinced that my way was the right way, and I wasn’t open to correction. I was “doing me,” as the world would say living by my own rules, guided by my own desires.

At that time, I wasn’t walking with Christ. I believed in God, yes, but I wasn’t willing to surrender to him. And if I couldn’t submit to the Lord, how could I truly commit to a covenant with someone else? I was tearing down my own temple the sacred space that was meant to be protected and honored. Instead, it was defiled by alcohol, drugs, and relationships that didn’t reflect God’s design.

I sought guidance from horoscopes, tarot cards, and psychics, hoping they would reveal the truth I couldn’t seem to find on my own. But the answers I thought I had never came to life. I was searching for clarity in all the wrong places, unaware that true wisdom begins with surrender.

I was constantly surrounded by people. military friends, civilian friends there was never a moment I was truly alone. My days were filled with plans, social gatherings, and professional success. I was working alongside one of the top-rated surgeons in Las Vegas, and from the outside, it looked like I was thriving.

I believed I was living life to the fullest, wrapped in the warmth of friendships and admiration. But beneath the surface, something was off. The people I thought cared for me, the ones I trusted to have my best interests at heart, were unknowingly feeding the illusions I had built around myself. They weren’t helping me grow they were helping me stay blind.

Even after accepting Christ, being baptized, and committing to devotional prayer and a relationship, parts of my old self began to unravel. The sudden emotional outbursts, the mood swings, the pride, and even moments of selfishness still surfaced. I had stepped into a new world—one unfamiliar and sacred—with the guidance of my Heavenly Father.

In the months following my baptism, I was immersed in prayer. My nights were filled with study, worship, and tearful cries to God not just for myself, but for the deliverance of my family and friends. I dwelled in His presence daily, alone in a two-bedroom apartment, seeking Him with everything I had. My thoughts were consumed with how to become a better Christian, but what I didn’t realize then was that I was being transformed I was growing in Christ. I was dying to my flesh, one day at a time.

When I moved to Colorado, the battles intensified. It became painfully clear that I needed deeper spiritual work. And I’m not talking about self-help books, yoga routines, or the “I’m just doing me” mindset. Those things held no place in my heart. What I longed for was true growth – growth in how to live, love, and walk more like Christ.

Back then, submission wasn’t even part of my vocabulary. I saw it as weakness, something foreign to my nature. But over time, I came to understand that we are called to be brides to the Father that surrendering to Him isn’t madness or delusion, as the world often suggests. It’s not a flaw in thinking; it’s a sacred longing my soul had carried since childhood.

I always felt different. More mature than my peers, uninterested in the things they found fun or fulfilling. I was searching for something deeper, something eternal. During those years, I attended Catholic churches, CCD classes, and conferences. I was immersed in religious tradition, yet still felt spiritually empty. There was a hunger inside me that none of it could satisfy.

Eventually, I realized the missing piece: I had no relationship with God. I knew about Jesus, the disciples, and the significance of Christ’s life but I didn’t know him personally. I had studied the faith, but I hadn’t surrendered to it. What I needed wasn’t more knowledge it was intimacy with the one who created me.

You might be wondering what’s the point of this message? It’s this: the fulfillment we’re all searching for doesn’t come from people, substances, food, or the endless scroll of social media. True fulfillment is found in the one who created us.

He knew us before we ever took our first breath. He called us while we were still being formed in our mother’s womb. So why wouldn’t we want to know him? To understand why he made us, why he loves us so deeply, and what purpose he’s placed within us?

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” — Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)

Allow this truth to take root within you, your existence is no mistake. You were intentionally created, uniquely set apart, and profoundly cherished. True fulfillment doesn’t come from pursuing what the world offers it begins by seeking the one who crafted it all, including you.