Choose me or Don’t Choose Me

The exact words God spoke to my soul. It was as vivid as if it happened yesterday. I was sitting at my desk, studying for my Anatomy & Physiology exam, when suddenly I was overcome by a voice – profound, deep, and passionate. It wasn’t audible in the natural sense, but it pierced through my soul. I had never heard God speak before, but in that moment, I knew without a doubt: it was Him

“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” —John 10:27

I felt it in my spirit. I knew I had to choose God. He had been pursuing me since I was a little girl through dreams, near-death experiences, and moments of divine protection I couldn’t explain. I always sensed His hand over me, but I never truly understood why He had called me.

“You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit…” —John 15:16

The Bible says, “Many are called, but few are chosen” (Matthew 22:14). And “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in…” (Revelation 3:20). God had been knocking for years, but I didn’t open the door until He spoke directly to me – “choose me or don’t choose me” 

You’d think that after choosing God, I would walk perfectly in His will. But I stumbled. I drank alcohol again. Though I had been delivered from homosexuality, I craved one last drink. The next day, I was flooded with shame. I felt like I had failed my Heavenly Father.

“For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again…” —Proverbs 24:16 “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” —Romans 8:1

I knew I couldn’t go back. So I didn’t. I let go of the alcohol and the generational trauma that had plagued my family. I chose to focus solely on Jesus. I surrendered everything. From that moment, I was devoted to the Father.

I thought that would be the last time I’d hear His voice. But He wasn’t done speaking.

He met me again at a church called The Well in Utah. There, I encountered Prophetess Xen Ella. As I walked in, she greeted me and said, “God has a message for you.” Her words stirred something deep inside me. I couldn’t stop thinking about them.

After the service, I saw her again. She smiled and said, “Thank you for coming back. God wants you to know He is sending you a man of God. You will travel, help others through holistic medicine, and minister to women and children about healing through Christ.”

“Surely the Sovereign Lord does nothing without revealing His plan to His servants the prophets.” —Amos 3:7

That word came to pass. I met my husband, Anthony, and together we are growing a ministry rooted in intimacy with the Father. In our secret place, we build, we pray, we listen.

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” —Matthew 6:6

Why am I sharing you this you ask..Because someone needs to hear it. Because you might be one of the chosen. And being chosen means choosing God daily not just when life is hard or when it’s convenient.

“Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…” —Joshua 24:15 “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” —Matthew 6:33

God has a purpose for you. He has plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Don’t hold yourself back from the blessings He has for you. Let the Holy Spirit fill you. Let Jesus Christ love you. And walk in reverent fear of the Lord, not as a burden, but as your destiny.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” —Psalm 37:4